YATS

I recently learned a new word from my younger daughter’s boyfriend- or rather an acronym- YATS.  It means Yelling At the TV Screen.   He was using it in reference to watching football and how often people yell at the players, coaches, and referees.  I have to admit that I am guilty of this.  Not necessarily when watching sporting events, but certainly when I hear offensive comments made by political leaders.  I even do this when I read the paper (much to my husband’s chagrin).  

Over the last few weeks, I have been noticing just how often I participate in YATS, and realized I might just have a problem.  To address it, I decided to try and see these moments as opportunities to practice self management and listening skills. 

For me, deep breathing is my “go to” technique to lower the intensity of my emotions and to pause before reacting.  Taking that breath gives me space to remember that between the stimulus and response, there is choice.  Knowing this is one thing; acting on it when emotions are high is completely different. That is why these skills not only need to be taught, but also practiced- over and over again so when we call upon them in highly emotional situations, we do not revert back to what we typically do.  

And so, I have begun to practice my self management skill of deep breathing every night when I watch the news.   As I sense my body tensing, I take a moment to identify how I am feeling. Am I angry? Frustrated? Disgusted? Sad?  Then I breath- inhaling for a count of 4; holding for a count of 2; releasing for a count of 4.  Some nights I feel like I might hyperventilate, but most of the time, I find I am listening better and not as agitated.  My husband has even started watching the news with me again.  

These are life skills.  There is nothing “soft” about these skills, and no one should be expected to learn these skills on their own or through experience.  We need to teach and practice these skills now more than ever- both in and out of the classroom.  Our educators and learners are living in a world that is still feeling the effects of an unprecedented pandemic; of social and political unrest; of climate change, gun violence, rising anti-semitism, and war.  All of this - and their accompanying emotions - comes into our classrooms.  We need to teach these skills to manage these emotions, so at the very least, teachers can teach and students can learn.

Research shows that when SEL is integrated into the learning experience, academic achievement increases and behavioral issues decrease.  It also leads to a more positive association with learning and school climate, which means that both teacher and student can enter into the learning experience with less anxiety and feel better about what they do.  

I believe this all extends far beyond the walls of the classroom and can lead to a more compassionate world where people can listen to each other even when they disagree.  And certainly in my home, to a more relaxing hour of news watching.